I Ache For You

I ache for you in a way I do

not, cannot want anything else in this world.

In the stillness I wake from dreams of you,

whispers fill my head,

travel along my skin like a cool breeze settling over me.

You are my insomnia.

The source of every midnight thought,

the reason for every moonlight wish.

I ache

I ache

I ache for you.

23 MEMORIES (2016-2017)

This last year has been crazy. Filled with surprises, laughter, heartache, and big changes. Turning 24 has been a humbling experience. One that I’m trying, and struggling to come to turns with. I’m not sure where the next year will take me or if I’m ready but I’m grateful. Always.

Here are a few memories from the last year:

  1. Mar 18-20: Went home to celebrate my birthday with my family and best friend. Saw Kinky Boots, went shopping, and watched Zootopia! Such a good weekend.
  2. April 21: Accepted my offer for a two-year college program
  3. April 27: Finished my undergrad, officially.
  4. May 16: Celebrated my cousin’s birthday at the CN TOWER.
  5. May 25: Beyonce Concert. ‘Twas flawless!
  6. June 3: Solo Trip to Montreal
  7. June 18: Graduation!
  8. June 20: Montreal trip! Back at it again with solo trips and waffles
  9. June 23: Flower delivery! The most beautiful bouquet of flowers arrived for me today.
  10. July 1: Canada Day in the Capital City! The best!
  11. July 3: Graduation Party! LOL….now what?
  12. July 20: Moved out of my first apartment! Couldn’t believe it. Four years packed away
  13. Sept 6: Started college. Culture shock was real.
  14. Sept 8: Baked homemade bread for the first time. Named him Rufus ’cause he looked like a naked mole rat.
  15. Oct 21-22: Spent the night at the ROM museum for Fashion Night; Celebrated a special anniversary and spent the night at the Sia concert!
  16. Dec 1: Finished my shorts in sewing class. So proud of myself!
  17. Dec 2: Saw Moana! Such a good movie
  18. Dec 14: Donated blood for the second time
  19. Dec 22: Went to the Christmas Market in Distillery District and had friendmas via FaceTime
  20. Jan 22: Saw the last Toronto show of Potted Potter! So funny!
  21. Feb 18: Went to Sweet Jesus on John St. and finally got to try the Birthday Cake ice cream
  22. Mar 1-5: Travelled to Antigua and got to see my grandma. So much fun and a truly humbling experience
  23. Mar 16: Turned 24. Honestly, still processing.

Here’s to another year!

2017 New Years Resolutions

Exactly a year ago I made actual resolutions for 2016. I got just over half and I’m very happy with that. I got to travel, rediscover my city, started a dream journal, went to a concert, started a fashion blog, and I graduated from university and started college.

This year’s will be a both last year’s resolutions and a few new ones. Check it out:

  1. Finish writing one book
  2. Read at least 12 books
  3. Get my G1
  4. Exercise 2-3 a week
  5. Visit my bestie in BC
  6. Purge half my book collection
  7. Build a #girlboss wardrobe
  8. Donate blood 3 times this year
  9. Write two food-related blog posts
  10. Pick up a hobby (new or old)

Let’s see if I can do at least half of these.

Wishing everyone a happy new year and all the best for 2017.

Favourite Words of 2016

  1. savage: (adj.) an act that is either cool or hardcore; (n.) someone who does not care about the consequences of his or her actions.
  2. tragic: (adj.) extremely mournful, melancholy, or pathetic
  3. feminist: (n.) an advocate of social, political, legal, and economic rights for women .
  4. majestic: (adj.) characterized by or possessing majesty; of lofty dignity or imposing aspect; stately; grand
  5. twentysomething: (n.) a young adult in their twenties
  6. authenticity: (n.) the quality of being authentic; genuineness; representing one’s true nature or beliefs; true to oneself or to the person identified:
  7. fashionista: (n.) a very fashionable person, especially one who works in the fashion industry
  8. purge: (v.) to rid of whatever is undesirable; cleanse; purify; to rid, clear, or free
  9. home: (n.) the dwelling place or retreat; the place or region where something is native or most common; any place of residence or refuge
  10. graduate: (n.) a person who has received a degree or diploma on completing acourse of study, as in a university, college, or school

last year’s list 

Lost in Dream

To Little Miss Joy with love

In my dreams I always lose you,

as if I need the reminder.

your absence hangs in the air around me,

each breath I take sparks memories

that jolt across my mind

but ultimately slip away when I exhale.

In my dream last night,

or perhaps it was the early hours of morning,

I fought and ran and clung to you,

desperate to keep you with me,

with all of us.

I forget sometimes,

consumed by my own loss and heartbreak,

that others lost you too,

and that we will always love you,

and miss you.

The only thing I hope for,

is to meet you once again,

not lost in dreams,

but  beautifully, tangibly,

here,

with me.

That Night

I wish I were as beautiful as the words you whispered in my ear

that night when the world was only big enough for you and I

and nothing else

my only want was more of you

perfectly contented by the simplicity of the moment

I forgot to tell you how happy I was

that night when my mind drifted into shocking silence

and all I knew was you

I regret not tasting you in all the ways I wanted to

I feared that I would disrupt the energy that hummed softly around us

but you knew exactly how I felt

and for us that was enough