The First Cut is the Deepest

To Little Miss Joy with love

I woke up crying today.

Tears fell,

As I tried to piece together

The broken thoughts of a dream returned.

You were there,

And you were so tiny,

And I kept you close to me,

Out of fear that I would lose you again.

I clutched so tightly to my chest,

You became a part of me.

I tried to blame it on the weather,

But it wasn’t that cold,

I just couldn’t let you go,

I  needed to hold you again,

Just one last time.

I brought you back to our house,

Where my teary-eyed mother waited,

She opened her arms to take you,

But only swept her hands over your face,

Reverently,

Like she was afraid you may just disappear,

Like you were a vision,

A dream,

Something we conjured up,

But couldn’t tell if it was real or not.

You weren’t real,

But you felt real,

Solid and warm,

And mine.

It felt like you were mine.

I could tell my dream was ending,

The edges started to wear

Like an old photograph,

Everyone became flimsy,

Two dimensional,

Everything but you.

You were still in my arms,

Staring up at me with your large blue eyes,

You were perfect and mine,

But then I lost you to reality.

I woke slowly,

My knees tucked into my chest,

My arms wrapped tightly around myself,

Sobbing.

Pieces of the dream came back,

There was you and mom,

I was holding you tightly,

And a song played

In a way that only I could hear,

 I sung it to you,

I sang it over and over again.

The first cut is the deepest..

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